Enjoy

I enjoy darkness in my way!!!!!!!!!!!!!!...I am so completely depressed. I feel like a really bad joke has been played ...I have been depressed for many years...They are great friends but I do beleive they are ashamed of me because I have depression. No matter how awful it gets sometimes when I am really down I will try to pretend I'm o.k. and it's easier to be around them...It is driving me to the very end of no return because I am so belittled and put down if I even mention it...I feel so alone and ??????? because I don't know how to deal with it alone...I have a wonderful best friends and all of them has tried everything possible to help me...Thanks for your time....why??????